Friday, July 23, 2010

Grandpa Hall

You gave me your eyes
the eyes that can see all the beauty of the world through a bright blue glaze
they see the best in people, even when its hidden deep
our eyes are the passage way to our beauty and to our souls
the eyes that tell a story at every glance
You gave me your heart
a heart that can feel things deeper than the average person,
the heart that can care even when it knows better
a heart that can love even when that love isn't reciprocated or deserved
You gave me the best pieces of you and for that i thank you....

Grandpa Gardner

Dear Grandpa,
Your aren't with us anymore. Mommy says that Heavenly Father had a special job for you, so you had to say goodbye to us and go see him. I cried when you left and mommy did too, but Daddy said I'll see you again and that it isn't goodbye forever. I may not be able to see you anymore, and there isn't anyone to pick me up and swing me around, or give me all the candy a little girl could dream, or sing me those silly old tunes, But Grandpa, even though you aren't here, i just want you to know that i can feel you, and that there are even times when i can see you in mommies eyes and in the set of her mouth. It makes me happy. im all grown up now, noone has to rock me to sleep anymore, i can do my own hair and put on my own clothes, and i dont even cry when i fall flat on my face, and believe it or not but boys dont even have coodies any more! and want to know a secret? i kinda even like them! but no matter how old i get you will always be my number one man and ill always miss you.
your little princess

Monday, July 12, 2010

it is only a moment

You were silent for a few brief moments, which lead into a few days, and before I could change it, months

As if the silence wasn't hard enough, you became frozen, guarded and unreachable

Feelings, emotions, hopes/dreams put on hold

No longer wondering about the future or where your feet will lead you

Not caring about who you offend or who you're hurting.

'Me needing you' put on hold,
putting every energy in trying to reach you

What was first chipped became broken,
what was broken had to become shattered

And, as promised, with time your wounds were healed
and what was once great is now remarkable

So remember, some of our darkest times are a fresh start to greater happiness

the little things

Sun rises bringing hopes,
dreams and a fresh start
with a new beginning to the surface

People chattering,
going about their regular routines

Children fighting and quickly forgiving

Smiles broadening with every memory

Pain and sadness forgotten

Fears locked away

Acting like everything is okay
until it all becomes better

Hearing the steady sound of heart beats,
knowing it's the most important sound to listen for

Enjoying every breath

Continuing in every step

Striving until success

Searching for the little things,
sometimes they are all that matter

mirroring masks

Blank facial expressions
exhausted muscles
drooping eyes
overworked and over-stressed

Fantasizing over the 'what-ifs'
and the I wishes,
trying to cover the 'I-ams'

Being yourself vs. Being who you wish you were

Molding yourself into fantasy expectations

Never knowing if you're doing it for them,
or for yourself

a better beginning

Privilege , yet unable to live up to it

A choice to sacrifice
and a second choice to offer a better life

The most deserving couple
discouraged by lack of this privilege

And in one second,
one phone call offered the greatest opportunity life has to offer

The daily gift of falling in love with those little hands,
tiny feet, and unmistakable smile.

A new life, a greater chance,
and a better beginning.